Just for Her Summer Series - Marriage

"Well you signed up for it!" I exclaimed....trying to lighten the mood and Kristen's exasperation with me after another day filled with wifely nagging.

But the truth is, he did sign up for it. When Kristen & I took our vows, those solemn promises, we did sign the dotted line that said for better, for worse, for days that are normal, for days that are filled with Christa's Crazy. He knew exactly who I was and what he was signing that fateful day in 2007

Since the onset of 2011 (a mere 7 months) I have literally watched five couples, all of whom are friends or childhood friends, call it quits on their relationships, three of those since April alone. And me...well being me...it causes me to think, look at my own marriage and assess. Or in my case completely panic and go into meltdown mode. I actually talked to Kristen about this one day, about how I was freaking out about our friends breaking up and how I don't want to ever be in those shoes. How I don't ever want us to get "there" to that point of no return.

 

 Recently I was challenged to write a letter. Write a letter of those unspoken words to someone that you should say, already should have been said but you haven't. I wrote my letter to Kristen. I wrote my letter to him....simply out of fear. Fear that we will forget who we were and who we are. Forget who we were when we were youthful and ignorantly blissful. I told him I didn't want to forget the WHY we chose each other, I didn't want to forget our dreams & wishes. I told him I didn't want to forget any of the us, because in a life filled with schedules, children & what is sometimes the mundane routine of life....we do forget. We do make mistakes. We do take for granted.

I did not sign up for mediocre.

I refuse to have a marriage that's just okay, I refuse to have a marriage that's just getting by. In a society completely absorbed with self, we don't acknowledge that marriage is filled with compromise, communication and at times sacrifice of the oh so important self.

In a society where divorce is okay, in a society where SELF is #1 and you living YOUR life, your way, is KING....I'm putting it out there that we as women can stand our ground and our belief in the bond of marriage. We as women can be that generation today to start a revolution that marriage might not be for everyone, but for those of us that have chosen it, it's worth it!

I want to look back at my life when I'm old & grey with bragging rights!! I want to be able to tell the love story that was Kristen & I. One that might have had its challenges and disappointments but we clawed and tore our way through it anyway. That our marriage was one filled with companionship, adventure, laughter and happiness. Our solemn promise that was never broken.

And with that....this week's challenge: 

- Have a conversation! Talk to your husband. Tell him your unspoken words. Even if it is in a letter.

- Dwell only on the positive....even the little things like putting out the garbage. In the routine of life, it's very easy to take it all for granted.

- No grass is greener comparison...it's from the devil!! Seriously...what happens behind closed doors is so completely different than what any couple might actually let you see. Therefore, NO comparing. Every relationship is different and unique, just like people :) What works for me might not work for you, so why even both comparing apples to oranges.

- And last but not least, take time out for just the two of you. Maybe a walk, a date night, or talking an extra 10 minutes when you go to bed tonight. Make "us" a priority this week. Let's be women of marriage's that are NOT of the mediocre kind.

Photo of us, taken August 2005

"One of the nicest things you can  say to your partner, 'If I had it to do over again, I'd choose you. Again"

- Unknown

Just for Her Summer Series - Girlfriends

It was my first year after graduating college. Kristen & I were living in a city where I knew very few people and as much as I loved Kristen and spending time with him I was going crazy. I needed girl time!

I needed female opinions and conversation on the things and happenings in my life. Kristen is my best friend but he’s still a guy and I needed that balance in my life. So I rounded up a few acquaintances (“kind of” friends at the time but none I would consider “close”) and we joined an all women’s volleyball league. It was exactly what the Doctor ordered. I was able to laugh, giggle and talk girly stuff that Kristen would humour me and listen, but I’m sure some days were driving HIM crazy.

It was from that point that I always made it a priority to have girlfriends in my life. Some are only acquaintances, some were only there for a season, some were and are soul mates that no matter how near or far there’s a connection that she can and will always be someone I can depend on.

So with that here’s my list of what to  and what not to look for when looking for a GREAT girlfriend.... please feel free to agree/disagree :) I strongly encourage the conversation

A GREAT girlfriend will.....

Be a positive influence in your life.

Be there for you in bad times but doesn’t allow you to wallow in self pity.

Will tell you the truth even when it hurts.

Challenges & encourages you to be more, be better, be fabulous

Shares in your joys and achievements rather than feeling envious or jealous.

Can chat with you for hours about everything and nothing (even if you’re not a talker)

A GREAT girlfriend will not....

ALWAYS talk about herself (sometimes is okay...we all need that)

Be a victim in her own life so that when you leave her presence you feel emotionally & spiritually DRAINED (I can’t believe the life I’ve been given, I’m destined to always struggle....)

Be constantly critical of her appearance (you know who they are....I need to lose 10lbs, my thighs are too big, my skin isn’t perfect.....and on and on they go)

Critical & judgmental of others (if she’s making fun of others or thinks she’s better than others it’s because she’s insecure and needs to feel better about herself. You don’t need that in your life)

This list could go on and on but this is my short version that’s blog friendly :) I will quickly mention that there are women reading this RIGHT NOW who are saying I get along better with guys, women are cats, etc, etc....all I say to that is,...you haven’t found a great girlfriend or simply...it could be you. Maybe it’s time you evaluate the influence you have in a friendship...are you the negative, critical, always taking, draining one? Maybe, maybe not....I’m just putting it out there.

Now on to this week’s challenge:

*Really look at the girlfriends in your life and decide if a break up is in order. Yep I said it....sometimes we need to break up with girlfriends just like breaking up with a bad boyfriend.

* Recognize the VALUE in the friendships you already do have with the fabulous women in your life!

* Feel like you need to re-connect with an old friend, do it!

* Have a friend that you want to get to know better? Ask her out for coffee!

**Side-note** You don’t have to be joined at the hip for the friendship to be of value. Find a balance that works for you because regardless of the amount of time spent together, the positive side effects it will bring to your life are totally worth it!

 This photo was taken November of 2006 and still one of my favourite "girlfriend" photos

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are”   - Unknown

Just for Her Summer Series - Quiet Time

The house is quiet....all my boys including Boone are sleeping. That's my time....to catch up on work, cleaning or me time. 

Yes that quiet time where I get to do whatever I want just for me. I really believe in quiet time, not just for myself but for all women. We put so many pressures and demands on ourselves in the run of a day that I feel even 10 minutes a day to unwind, reflect, pray, meditate or do whatever it is you do as down time is not only important but vital to our overall well-being. It helps us get out stress, rejuvenate our spirits and connect our souls to something of a higher power.

Some of my favourite quiet time activities are....

Reading Books/Bible

Writing or Journalling

Praying/Meditating/Reflecting

Going for a Walk

Candlelit Bubble Bath

Yoga

Listening to the rain

Listening to softly playing music

This week's Just for Her challenge is simple!

Take at least 10 minutes each day for the next 7 days as quiet time. Rejuvenate your spirit, rest your mind, and in turn make yourself a better woman because you decided to take time just for you.

"A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live."  ~ Bertrand Russell

Just for Her Summer Series - Passion

When I first decided to do the Just for Her Summer Series – I jotted down the “themes” I wanted to cover over the summer...when I wrote today's on my calendar I scribbled down.....Just for Her – Career. But the more I thought about it the more I hated that word! I hated the word career, cause I didn't want this post to be about jobs but about following your PASSION. Should it be your income and financial gain in your life remains to be seen but I didn’t want that to be the main focus.

 

So let's begin.....how do you Find your Passion? Here’s a few suggestions....

1.      True Colors Career

I found this neat free quiz at True Colors Career.com  where it tells you your primary colour and what type of person you are. 

2.      Ask Questions

(Ex:) What am I insanely interested in? What could I talk about for hours? What would I do for free? What activities genuinely give me pleasure? What does happy look like?)

3.      Find your Strengths

Don’t be shy.....what things are you good at? What’s something that you posses that you feel makes you unique even if it was a childhood talent or skill?

4.      Think back to your Childhood.

What were you favourite things to do as a child? Some of mine were playing house (I’m currently living that dream as a wife and mother), I loved making mud pies (I currently love food and consider myself a bit of a foodie), I love playing school (currently my love of sharing knowledge not to mention the thirst for knowledge that never seems to be quenched) take photos, colour & write (all the little artistic things that I’m obsessed with even today) and I thoroughly enjoyed playing Rainbowland (my cousin Tammy would get this one....we very devotedly ran our little business named after my 80’s rainbow wall paper that adorned my bedroom walls.....I don’t even know what our business was I just know we were good at it and we’re quite successful) All of these childhood hobbies and interests are all a part of my life today and the passions I actively pursue.

5.      Dare to Dream

In a perfect world with no boundaries where do you see yourself? Open up your mind to ALL the possibilities.

6.      Make Lists

Write it down! Writing things down with a pen and piece of paper uses a whole other part of your brain than typing on a computer doesn’t. PLUS seeing your dreams and ideas in ink puts a way better perspective on it.

7.      Enlist Family & Friends

Since it’s sometimes hard to assess ourselves...ask your family & friends what 2-3 things they think you’re naturally talented at. My family & friends would say I’m good at talking.....I know this is taken as a bad thing by most people but I’ve embraced and I’m trying to use it for a greater good. If my voice will be heard let it be for something that will helps others and inspire.

 

8.      Pursue it! 

Once your discover your passion...pursue it! In fact today I’m attending the Spread the Love seminar by Justin & Mary and then this Thursday I’m attending their “A Walk through a Wedding Workshop” I’m willing to do whatever it takes & invest in resources that I feel will help me pursue my passions in photography and running my own business and to continually grow and learn within those fields just because I love it THAT much!!

9.     Nothing is carved in stone

Have you discovered that gardening is your true passion...great! But don’t feel this is a fixed mould and there’s no room for growth or change. 5 years from now who knows what my passions will be? Maybe I’ll discover a love for sky diving or pottery. Always be open to trying new things, new ideas, and listening to others as you never know what’s out there yet to be discovered that might very well be the ultimate passion for you for a season or a life time.

And on that note....let’s get into this week’s challenge...it’s pretty simple....find you passion! 

Use the above mentioned steps to start discovering your true bliss... it might be the beginning of the awesome path you could soon start travelling. 

Happy Travels :)

Just for Her Summer Series - Mind

This week's topic for the Just for Her Summer Series is the mind.

I'm going to keep it VERY simple with talking about two things

1) Never stop learning

2) Be positive

I really do believe if you can do these two things your mind will stay sharp & healthy.

 "It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well"  ~ Rene Descartes

First, never stop learning. I love to learn and read. I love hearing about new things! I love using Google...yep I google everything! And I even use dictionary.com quite a bit too when there's a word I hear that I don't know the meaning of or thesaurus.com when I want an alternative word for one bouncing around in this crazy head of mine :) I know you don't have to be borderline (or completely over the line) nerd like me but I do believe reading is very important to one's mental health. 

Second, be positive. I'm sure you've all heard the quote 

"I think, therefore I am"  ~Rene Descartes

And it couldn't be truer. Whatever is on your mind, whatever occupies your thoughts whether it be positive or negative will come to be.

We need to start changing our thought process to be happy, good and wholesome. It's not always easy, because we're all prone to a down or bad day. But it's the choice to change that thought process and focus on the positive that we'll realize it does have an affect on our every day lives.

I'm currently reading Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen and I must say this book is AWESOME! 

 

 I started reading it a while ago and unlike a great book that I can't turn the pages quickly enough, this one is the exact opposite. I want to read it as slowly as possible, I want to savour every word, line and paragraph. I want it to last as long as possible. This book is all about living your best life now and the power of positive thinking all with a very spiritual & Biblical basis. Even if you don't consider yourself spiritual, everyone and I mean everyone can take something great from this book. I highly encourage you to read it!!

So to conclude...this weeks challenge is

1) Think Positive! Even if it's a bad day. Do not fall victim to feeling sad, discouraged, or any negative feeling that may exist and enter your mind. This week you are not a victim but a beautiful, healthy woman who's loving life right now as it is!

2) Read a book or magazine! Find something that you're interested in, if it's cooking then go get Rachel Ray's magazine Every Day  or for books that read like romantic comedies then I recommend anything by Sophie Kinsella  my personal favourite being "Can you Keep a Secret" 

Or to kill two birds with one stone, then yes go get Your Best Life Now! It's brain food and positive thinking all in one!

"Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life"

~ Joel Osteen

Just for Her Summer Series - Health

I believe in everything in moderation...I do not deny myself bacon or chocolate or even a gooey slice of pizza. But there comes a time when we should say no or at least do that extra workout to burn the calories. And no simply for weight reasons but for health reasons. Ladies if we don't take care of ourselves nobody else is going to do it for us.

After last weeks challenge we should all be feeling fabulous about ourselves or at the very least maybe at least a little bit better? It's time to look at our overall health.....the benefits of being healthy are numerous a few include a longer life span, more energy (a must with today's busy lifestyle and hyper children) and not to mention for some weight loss and a trimmer waistline.

So to continue with our Just for Her Summer Series, today I'll be just throwing out a few ideas in which we can make ourselves a wee bit healthier. 

Exercise - As simple as a 30 minute walk could have huge physical benefits including weight loss...yay!

Drink lots of water - if you don't like water try low cal Crystal Lite for flavour or squeeze a bit of lemon or lime juice in there.

Sleep! Easier said than done for some but at least an effort should be made towards 7 hours a night. But if you got out for that 30 minute walk earlier I'm sure that along with the fresh air will definitely help.

Cook Fresh!! Stop making meals that are coming out of a bag, box or can. The preservatives and sodium levels on that stuff is brutal! Or even attempt a day of eating only raw.

Take your Vitamins - Dr. Oz suggests a daily multi-vitamin, half taken in the morning and half at night, Vitamin D and Omega 3's  for women

Get smart about Heart Health as it's one of the major killers of women today - click HERE for the Canadian Heart & Stroke Foundation.

Eat Super Foods  - here are the top 10 that I found in my research
1. Green Vegetables - broccoli, spinach and leafy greens especially!
2. Fruit - aim for lots of berries, citrus fruits, avocados & tomatoes
3. Garlic
4. Nuts & Seeds
5. Whole Grains - yes that means no more white bread, don't forget oats & barley too.
6. Seafood - yummy cold water fish like salmon....mmm
7. Lean meat - the best choice is turkey
8. Milk &Yogurt
9. Legumes  - lots of beans in your chili? then you're covered :)
10. Olive Oil - preferably Extra Virgin

And with the above in mind here's this week's 7 day challenge:

1) Take a 30 minute walk at least twice this week

2) One day eat only FRESH nothing can be pre-packaged for you. Get creative with herbs & spices for added flavour if you're missing the added salt taste.

3) Eat at least one item from the super foods over the 7 days (I understand if the milk/yogurt category is out as I'm on a non-dairy diet myself.....boo!)

4) Educate yourself on heart health and vitamins. Decide if taking supplements would be beneficial to your health. Knowledge is always power.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

~ Doug Larson

Just for Her Summer Series - Beauty

It’s sad that so many women base their self worth on their outward appearance....as long as they look good nothing else matters.

Women as a whole spend billions in a beauty industry on products and services trying to make ourselves prettier, thinner, darker, lighter, and the list goes on.

And I’ll admit I spend money in this industry as much as the next one, I love hair products, clothes, shoes and make up...oh don’t get me started on make-up. One trip to Shoppers Drug Mart for shampoo and I leave with 4-5 new products to try and improve my outward appearance.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with wanting to look & feel your best. My problem is when we never feel we’re good enough, or pretty enough or measure up to the imagined comparison chart that we’ve created in our head. When we feel insecure because we think our looks are less than fabulous.

Ladies today I want to assure you, you are beautiful!

“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”

Ivan Panin

We are all beautiful in our own unique way and a beholder just waiting to lay their eyes on you! I can see how many of you are rolling your eyes as you read this. But who said it wasn’t true? Who said you weren’t beautiful or up to standard? Some voice in your head? The never ending media that surrounds us to a point that I don’t even know if there’s a way to truly eliminate its influence from our daily lives, or maybe the conversations with your girlfriends & co-workers that always come back to how our thighs are too big, our hair is the wrong colour, and the list goes on. Why do we torture ourselves? When if we actually blocked out all the external (and internal) chatter we’d realize maybe we aren’t so horrible after all. Maybe feeling good on the inside would really show through to the outside.

Would you refuse to be friends with someone just because they didn’t measure up to some beauty standard in your head? I don’t know anyone who would hold such standards, and if there are people out there like that, then shame on them. Too many women feel they need to fit the very stiff and one type mould created by some Hollywood producers that silly enough we seem to have completely believed and fallen for.

Be comforted if you’re feeling less than gorgeous that women of all shapes, sizes, colours and age obtain goals and are quite successful EVERY day and live completely fulfilled lives. Why can’t you be one of them?

So here’s this weeks 7 day challenge....

1)      You will be conceited...yep that’s what I said. For the next 7 days you are going to act, think & feel as if you are God’s gift to the universe cause the truth is you are God’s gift so you might as well own it and flaunt it. Celebrate your beauty!

2)      You will block out all influences that make you feel less than awesome...whether it be your favourite TV show, that one friend who ALWAYS talks about how she needs to lose weight or just turning your head (if possible) when your co-worker comes in with her new outfit, stylin’ shoes and perfectly styled hair.

3)      You will live in the now....right now you are going to list the top 5 things you DO love about your appearance and the top 5 thing you DO love about yourself. Beauty isn’t only skin deep even though we’ve convinced ourselves that it is. Take those lists and tuck them in your purse....and read them, remind yourself why you are beautiful and awesome.

Good luck and remember this is a 7 day challenge so it’s not going to be easy but I truly believe if you genuinely try some or all the above at the end of the 7 days you will most definitely be proud of who you are as a woman...and not just on the outside, the inside too :)

“Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses”  

~ Madame Marie du Deffand

 

Just Because: Myrna - Trash the Dress

About a month ago I posted an "On a Whim Session" with Myrna.

That session actually took place on our way to the beach to do Myrna's trash the dress session.

And I must say these did NOT disappoint!!! No further explanation needed ....just enjoy.

Yep...gorgeous!!

Hit by another wave

Love the moon in this one

On A Whim Session: Myrna

I’m sure you all know Myrna. You know the girl who had the photos taken on the truck?

Yep ...that’s the girl. Almost all clients I speak with mention that photo shoot and how much they loved the images.

Myrna is one of my best friends and probably my BEST client.

She believes in what I do, she loves my work, and supports the philosophies as to why I do what I do. She’s one of my loudest cheer leaders.

But what I need all of you to know is that I’m really one of Myrna’s biggest fans.

Why you ask? Because she’s fabulous. Just as she is, right now.

She’s a wonderful Mom to two beautiful daughters, a loving wife to her husband, a business owner, an active volunteer in the community and her church, has creative talent that oozes from her to the point that I’m almost envious (not quite thought because that would be a sin...lol) and on top of all that, she’s a beautiful woman, inside and out.

Another reason I deeply admire Myrna is her ability to seize the moment. I’m a planner, I like lists, calendars and schedules. Myrna is a procrastinator, works better under pressure and prefers last minute decisions. It drives me nuts but is also a good balance to our ying-yang relationship. It’s also a characteristic that forces her to live life now, as is.

This lead to her decision to do her trash the dress session while on vacation in the Dominican Republic. Cause really who knew when she’d be there again and she loved that setting as the backdrop for her photos. But what you need to know is Myrna just had a baby 8 months ago, she looks great but still feels she needs to lose weight, tone up and the list goes on but I say she’s full of it because her curves ARE something worth envying.

And yet, that still didn’t stop her.....in fact this is what she said “I may have rolls and stretch marks and crazy hair, but it's me right now, and I actually kinda like it :) I know maybe I shouldn't wear a 2-piece bathing suit either but this is what I have right now and in 20 years I'll probably be wishing for it..."  ~Myrna

 Seriously how can you NOT admire someone who has such an awesome attitude and outlook on life. 

So on the way to the beach to do her Trash the Dress session, I was commenting on how much I loved the black wrap she chose to wore "en route" then we found some awesome rocks and decided to do a "on the whim" mini boudoir session.OH yes....fabulous indeed!!!

 

I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
Marilyn Monroe

Creative: Vicki - Part III

So this creative session with Vicki has helped me realize what I already suspected.

I LOVE winter sessions.

They just bring a whole other vibe that your typical summer sessions don't.

I love summer sessions, but I really appreciated the new challenges, the fabulous winter light and the awesome images I was able to capture of Vicki.

Love me some Uggs

Okay I just have to say how BRAVE Vicki is to just lie in the snow and make angels in the FREEZING weather that we were having that day.

She was such a sport and the resulting shots were awesome.

See? Such a good sport :)

I've also discovered a preset that leaves a purple finish on the images rather than black and white or sepia and I'm LOVING it :)

And last but not least my absolute favourite image from this series.

Ummm...yeah...gorgeous!!!

Creative: Vicki - Part II

Now on to Part II of my Creative Just Because Session with Vicki

I'm really pushing myself to find a few presets in Lightroom that are really going to define my style and artistic take on my images.

I'm really liking one called PH Surreal Moment for the colour photos

and Pretty Presets Brown for the dark brown/sepia type finish for the remaining photos.

What do you think? Too bold? Not bold enough? 

All feedback appreciated :)

 You know me and a yummy brick wall...I know totally not outside the box for me at all. But what can I say I'm loyal to what I love :)

Creative: Vicki

In January I had this bright idea that I wanted to push myself creatively and do a winter Just Because session.

I had a few motivations behind this...

a) I wanted to keep shooting so not as to get rusty over the slower winter months

b) I've only really ever done one winter session and wanted to push myself professionally

c) I wanted to try some techniques in both shooting and editing and figured the "off" season was the best time

I called up my dear friend Vicki and asked her if she'd be willing to model for me, thankfully she was :)

I loved this creative session because it forced me to deal with a few challenges that I haven't really experienced before.

1) it was sooooo cold that my hands kept going numb to the point that I could barely tell if I was pushing the shutter button

2) it was so cold that by the end of the session, even my camera was hesitating to shoot on demand. Yep even the camera felt numb and had a delay

3) the brightness of winter snow on a sunny day was definitely something new to learn from a lighting point of view.

And now...Part 1 of my Just Because Creative Winter Session.

 

There's a reason I asked Vicki to model for me....simply because she's BEAUTIFUL!!!

 

Rawr.....

Love the shoes!

Technical notes for you fellow photographers

All images were taken on RAW format

All images were edited in lightroom using presets

Just For Her: Cynthia

She asked if I could include a couple quick "just for her" shots when I took photos of her daughter.
I said sure, I'd love too.
I knew she had been going through a lot and emotionally I knew she needed a pick me up.

I knew she needed to feel fabulous and beautiful.
I knew that if I did my best that a few photos of her would help her feel better. If only a little.....

I left the session thinking, I am "so" going to wow her.

After she see's her photos she going to be like, holy cow Christa you made me feel wonderful.

Well let's just say.....that didn't happen.

That the little bubble of a world that I was living in quickly popped.
When she saw her images she said, I like them but don't put them up anywhere.

Sigh....I let her down.

It was exactly what I didn't want to happen, I wanted her to see her photos and see the beauty that I see. 

See in the images the beautiful person she is on the inside and out.

See how fabulous of a woman she truly is.

Well Cynthia whether you believe it yourself or not....you are beautiful!

You are fabulous.

You are a real woman. With real beauty.

 May you always know that & never forget.

With Much Appreciation, Christa

Just for Her: Myrna

You might remember Myrna from my humble film beginnings HERE when she was expecting baby #1

Or you might remember Myrna from HERE when I did her Just for Her session last summer, that almost everyone I talk too THAT'S the session they talk about and love the most.

Well now Myrna is back and as beautiful as ever as she'll soon be welcoming baby #2

Baby #1 was Sarah who is now 3 and going to be a great big sister

Kisses for the baby

MU-WAH!!!!

The light on the night of our session was yummy

Myrna you sure know how to work it!

Then this little nook that we found along the way stole my heart!

I could have stayed here all evening

I told Myrna I should book a whole day of mini sessions and they all be in this spot right there!

Wow

And last but not least.....my fave

Myrna, Sarah & Jamie (Daddy couldn't make it to the session) congrats on the new baby. Good luck and all the best!