I have loved blogging for quite a while now. If interested you can check out my old blog here.
But in recent months I’ve really struggled with blogging.
I’m pretty much an open book, obviously not blabbering on or crossing over the line of “too much information” but for the most part I share who I am, what I’m going through, and whatever might be bugging me that day.
However, since embarking on this photography journey I’ve read so many “rules” of blogging. What I should blog about, how I should format my blog, how often I should blog about certain topics, what topics are “do not touch” and the list goes on.
To the point that some days I don’t even know what to blog about anymore because I feel like everything is taboo or is going to hinder how successful I will be in life.
I know, it’s just a blog and for people who don’t appreciate blogs this is just nonsense to you. But for people like me who is a blog junkie, it’s weighed on my mind and actually caused me stress.
So...this whole rant brings me to this. It’s a confession of sorts, I feel like I haven’t been completely honest. With you, with this blog. Out of fear, out of fear of failing, I haven’t really talked about returning to my full time day job. Cue dramatic music here!!!.......and again, I know this isn’t a big deal to most of you. But to me, outright admitting this on my blog and not beating around the bush like I’ve done since October, is a huge deal.
For some reason I have myself completely convinced that admitting I work full time, openly on my blog, will result in being taken less seriously as a professional photographer. That if a potential client reads this that they’ll decide I’m not good enough and find someone else. I mean, otherwise, “if she was really professional she’d be doing photography full time and nothing else”
And you know what I kind of agree with the mentality. If I were on the other side, the potential client looking in, I could possibly think that exact conversation in my head. But I know in my heart that regardless of what you may think of me, I always give 100%, I can only run my own race, I can only succeed at the pace that the universe has agreed upon right now, and that working a full time job does not take away from the professionalism that I bring forth, the effort I put into running a full time business along with working full time and being a wife & mom.
Do I feel there are days that I’m losing? Absolutely! But it also doesn’t mean that I quit, cut corners, or give less than my all.
Phew....okay now that that’s off my shoulders. Here is my sincerest apology for not being me, the whole me, the quirky me as of late...because of fear of someone else’s opinion. An opinion that quite truthfully doesn’t matter and will not be the deciding factor of how I live my life and how I will succeed in life. I’m sorry.
So here we go, we’re turning the page, moving forward with the less than perfect blog, for the less than perfect girl who just wants to write and share :) Happy Thursday