January 27, 2011

Blogging Confessions

I have loved blogging for quite a while now. If interested you can check out my old blog here.
But in recent months I’ve really struggled with blogging.
I’m pretty much an open book, obviously not blabbering on or crossing over the line of “too much information” but for the most part I share who I am, what I’m going through, and whatever might be bugging me that day.

However, since embarking on this photography journey I’ve read so many “rules” of blogging. What I should blog about, how I should format my blog, how often I should blog about certain topics, what topics are “do not touch” and the list goes on.
To the point that some days I don’t even know what to blog about anymore because I feel like everything is taboo or is going to hinder how successful I will be in life.
I know, it’s just a blog and for people who don’t appreciate blogs this is just nonsense to you. But for people like me who is a blog junkie, it’s weighed on my mind and actually caused me stress.

So...this whole rant brings me to this. It’s a confession of sorts, I feel like I haven’t been completely honest. With you, with this blog. Out of fear, out of fear of failing, I haven’t really talked about returning to my full time day job. Cue dramatic music here!!!.......and again, I know this isn’t a big deal to most of you. But to me, outright admitting this on my blog and not beating around the bush like I’ve done since October, is a huge deal.

For some reason I have myself completely convinced that admitting I work full time, openly on my blog, will result in being taken less seriously as a professional photographer. That if a potential client reads this that they’ll decide I’m not good enough and find someone else. I mean, otherwise, “if she was really professional she’d be doing photography full time and nothing else”
And you know what I kind of agree with the mentality. If I were on the other side, the potential client looking in, I could possibly think that exact conversation in my head. But I know in my heart that regardless of what you may think of me, I always give 100%, I can only run my own race, I can only succeed at the pace that the universe has agreed upon right now, and that working a full time job does not take away from the professionalism that I bring forth, the effort I put into running a full time business along with working full time and being a wife & mom.
Do I feel there are days that I’m losing? Absolutely! But it also doesn’t mean that I quit, cut corners, or give less than my all.

Phew....okay now that that’s off my shoulders. Here is my sincerest apology for not being me, the whole me, the quirky me as of late...because of fear of someone else’s opinion. An opinion that quite truthfully doesn’t matter and will not be the deciding factor of how I live my life and how I will succeed in life. I’m sorry.

So here we go, we’re turning the page, moving forward with the less than perfect blog, for the less than perfect girl who just wants to write and share :) Happy Thursday


Angie said...

My word of advice - stop following so many people. You dont need to. Just BE YOU, blog about WHATEVER YOU want to. Thats what makes you YOU and Christa Hann Photography. Not by what others are blogging about. Being yourself is what will "catch" people, not by being someone else or if you work full time outside of photography. Girl, that just shows ALL THE MORE that you rock! Dont be ashamed of a fulltime job! You're Superwoman! Dont forget it! Love you!

Couz...Heather said...

I TOTALLY agree with the above comment...it dosen't matter (in the full picture) what others think of you or your decisions to work full time, be a photographer and a wife and mother....You can do and be anything you want to be. You will still get the clients that really trust you and KNOW you will do a fantastic job...don't stress over it..You're a great person inside and out and those who know you, Know that!!! Enjoy your work and your family and YOUR life and keep the blog just as it is...ALL ABOUT YOU and YOUR thoughts and LIfe!

Ange said...

The fact that you have been continuing to do great photography while holding down a full time day job AND continuing to be a great wife and Mommy says a lot about your dedication and professionalism.
Just my opinion, even though it doesn't matter!
Don't beat yourself up, make yourself happy. Too many people in this world are miserable.

Tara said...

You go GIRL... I completely agree with the first comment as well. NOW...my 2 cents (whether you want it or not). You know what I love about you the MOST??? Your quirkyness and your 'outside the box' ideas and attitudes!

Don't let what you're 'supposed' to do stop YOU from doing what YOU are doing. Did ya get that - cuz I know exactly what I'm saying, but re-reading it is kinda confusing!

You ARE professional, you DO give 150% and my GOODNESS girl...you are one of my first choices for a photographer when we move (I'll have to share you with another friend cuz she just went pro the same year you did).

Remember - give it over to GOD and he will lead the way.

A little verse that spoke to me this week:

An anxious heart weighs a man down. Proverbs 12:25

Remember that....thanks for being so HONEST always, even if you do bare it all - you don't have to!

Hugs from New Brunswick and client (who WILL return), whether or not you work one or two full time jobs (1 being photography and 1 being the other one)!!!

Christa said...

Wow I had no idea I'd get these comments. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.
@Tara: I'm trying to do exactly what you said give it over to God. Something else that's been on my mind a lot lately as well :)

Anonymous said...

Christa, Thank you so much for writing this blog. It has touched me dearly and it has actually opened my eyes to my own life and how I'm living it.
You are the best photographer, like, ever...lol. :) Keep up the excellent work and I can't wait to do another photoshoot with you real soon. And this time, I promise, we are gonna take it to the limit (for both of us...)

Holly said...

um..... ALL. OF. THE. ABOVE.

seriously, you are amazing. i love your work. :)))

and ditto to what angie said.... i'm seriously thinking about not following anymore photogs.... it gets overwhelming and just feeds the need to keep up with the joneses. fab advice. :)